Why do so many people keep going back to drugs and alcohol even after they’ve hit rock bottom?

That’s the question we opened with in this week’s episode of Real Recovery Talk. Our guest, Jeff, joins Tom and Ben to share his raw, powerful story — one that shines a light on the real reason people relapse and what it actually takes to find peace in sobriety.

Detox Isn’t Recovery — It’s the First Step

“Anybody can go to detox and get sober,” Jeff shares. “But how do I stay sober — and stay happy while I’m sober?”

It’s a truth many people miss: detox alone won’t fix addiction. It clears your body of the substance, but not the thinking, habits, or emotional pain that drive the behavior. The real work begins after detox, when you start to rebuild your life and learn how to feel comfortable in your own skin without the crutch of drugs or alcohol.

“I can go to detox and get removed from alcohol,” Jeff explains, “but how do I stay sober and stay comfortable that way? That’s the whole thing.”

 

Why Sobriety Feels Harder Than Using

Many assume life gets easier after putting down the drink or drug. But as Jeff points out, “It actually gets harder — we just get better at handling it.”

Addiction isn’t just about substances. It’s about how we cope. It’s about the infinite void inside that keeps us chasing “more” — more money, more love, more validation — thinking the next thing will finally make us feel whole.

Recovery means learning to stop chasing external fixes for internal pain.

“I can keep moving the bar on what’s going to make me okay,” Jeff says. “But what I’m really dealing with is an infinite void inside me. The only thing big enough to fill that is an infinite power.”

The Role of Spirituality in Recovery

Jeff’s story takes a deeply spiritual turn — not in a religious sense, but in rediscovering faith and meaning.

Like many, he came into recovery skeptical. But over time, his view evolved from disbelief to openness to connection.

“I started with just faith that recovery worked,” he says. “And over time, I came to believe something created me and loves me unconditionally. That’s who I talk to when I pray.”

Spirituality doesn’t look the same for everyone — and it shouldn’t. For some, it’s God. For others, it’s community, service, or nature. What matters is connection — to something greater than the self that was trapped in addiction.

Community: The Missing Piece

Sobriety isn’t just about removing substances — it’s about replacing isolation with connection.

For Jeff, community was the turning point.

He describes finding recovery meetings filled with people his age, having fun, laughing, and genuinely living. “It has to look attractive,” he says. “I saw people who looked like me, who were cool, and who had what I wanted — love, acceptance, and real friendships.”

That sense of belonging made recovery sustainable. It’s also why programs like Family Reconnect exist — to help families rebuild that same connection from the other side.

The Message for Families

If you’re reading this as someone who loves a person struggling with addiction — you’re not alone. It’s frustrating, heartbreaking, and confusing to know what to do.

That’s exactly why we created Family Reconnect, a 12-week membership that helps families learn how to support without enabling, communicate effectively, and find their own peace in the process.

Learn more about Family Reconnect here. 

Watch the Full Episode on YouTube

You can catch the full conversation with Jeff — including his incredible insight into how addiction warps self-perception, how to rebuild faith, and how humor (and even a velvet blazer) became part of his recovery story — on our YouTube channel.

Watch now on Real Recovery Talk’s YouTube Channel 

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If you or a loved one are struggling with alcoholism, drug addiction, or feel stuck after detox, we can help.

Schedule a free confidential call with our team to discuss options for treatment and next steps.
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